Realize This Upon Wanting to Change — Be Selfish

One of the things that needed to be realized, for me, upon accepting and wanting to change and prior to being intentional about the actions towards change is understanding what being selfish is.

Ultimately, understanding that I needed to be selfish to pursue such change.

Two kinds of selfishness

I think there are two very distinct kinds of selfishness, though, a dictionary might not portray this.

Selfish defined by a Google search

(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.

Selfish as most of us know it can fall into the above definition. The biggest distinction would be the lack of consideration for others and only being concerned about one’s own personal profit or pleasure.

When being intentional about your personal growth there are many aspects where you need to understand, and accept, that you’re going to be selfish, though, in a spiritual and emotional way.

The selfish aspect 

If you want to take care of, and care for, others you need to take care of yourself first. Tweet this

You need to surround yourself with the things, the people, the conversations, the music, the air that is going to have a positive impact on you and your intentional growth.

This doesn’t mean you lack consideration, or disregard, others as mentioned in the definition.

Your surroundings become enhanced with deeper connection

In fact, when you take care of yourself first, everything and everyone that makes up your surroundings becomes enhanced. Tweet this

The relationships with your family are more pure. Your friendships and connections become deeper. Your appreciation for your surroundings are heightened.

When we think of selfishness, there’s immediately a negative connotation to it. Most times within everyday dialogue, it’s an accurate picture.

But when you’re in the process of evolving oneself there are certain aspects of your day where you need to be entirely focused on just you.

You need to be doing the things that reinforce positive energy into your soul (reading, connecting, meditating, exercising, writing, listening to music, going on walks, doing nothing, etc.).

When you allow yourself these selfish moments of rejuvenation the remainder of your day is more productive, more enjoyable and more genuine.

I’m not advocating that you can’t be productive or you can’t have great relationships without being spiritually selfish; it’s being done all the time

What’s important is that when you take time for yourself to tap into your inner soul, to discover new senses of who you are at the core, those things that you’re already great at (relationships, focus, productivity) become heightened, you’re now better.

The emotional outlook towards each of those things becomes more clear and genuine.

Being selfish requires open communication

A major component on being selfish throughout your journey of intentional self growth is open communication with those that make up your surroundings.

If you have a significant other, family, friends (whomever) that normally occupy most of your time, it’s important that you have open and honest communication on what you are trying to achieve.

A lack of communication on something, on the surface, that can be perceived as being selfish might create lasting damage to a relationship. Don’t let a misinterpretation on how you are spending your time affect anything you already cherish.

Be selfish. Take time for yourself to discover more of you. Take those findings and be intentional about your growth throughout each day.


About Eric Ungs

Eric Ungs writes about a journey of intentional self growth, nudging you to let go; to give yourself permission to be vulnerable and honest with yourself so you can give your best self to others. Author of 10 Incredible Ways to Live a Fulfilling and Joyful Life ebook.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *