To be alive is the biggest fear humans have. Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive, the risk to be alive and express what we really are. Just being ourselves is the biggest fear of humans. — Don Miquel Ruiz
Before the holidays I had coffee with a friend of mine. We exchanged the standard back and forth conversation starters. How are things? What’s new? Any plans for the holidays?
As we dove further into the conversation we both began to open up and ask the deeper questions; mainly about the year ahead.
I got to speaking about the UYC project and my writing. I mentioned how one of my words for the upcoming new year is self integration, meaning, regardless of who I am with or which pockets of people I surround myself with, I am going to be me; my truth.
As much progress as I have made in rediscovering my truth, I still find it difficult sharing it with everyone.
I feel as though I wait for the other person to make the initiation into the space of who I’ve become before I entirely open up and share it. Like I am needing some kind of validation in order to own it. Specifically, my writing.
It’s something that bothers me to no end and something I continue to work on.
It touches on the very fear I have in withholding my writing to the world that’s closest to me because of how they might perceive me differently.
Here are the four agreements that Don Miguel Ruiz outlines in his practical guide to personal freedom.
Be impeccable with your word.
The word is the most powerful tool we have. What we dream, what we feel, what we think is all manifested from the word. The dialoque we create, the conversations we have with ourselves manifests the reality in which we experience.
One fear or doubt in our mind can create an endless drama of events. Tweet this
We get trapped in our minds, of words, and we use that very power against us, and others. We have negative self talk. We judge those around us by the words that surface in our minds, our thoughts, without even knowing the other.
The word is powerful. It establishes our reality. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Have it stem from a place of love, of truth, of you.
Don’t take anything personally.
This is the very agreement that so many of us struggle with, me included. This agreement is the reason my friend had suggested I read this book.
The idea, or reality, is that we all live in our own worlds, our own dream, our own thinking. When you take something personally, you are taking something from someone else’s world and imposing it in your own.
You take it personally because you agree with whatever they said. The moment when you agree with what they said, poison surfaces and spreads throughout. You’re trapped.
Don’t take anything personally, because when you take things personally you set yourself up to suffer for nothing. Tweet this
There’s nothing that others say or do that’s directly because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality. Not yours.
When you become aware, and immune, of the opinions and actions of others, you no longer are the victim of needless suffering.
Don’t make assumptions.
This is an everyday occurrence for me. Prior to committing to traveling this journey of intentional self growth, I caused myself endless amounts of suffereing because of the assumptions I made.
Especially with technology and the evoloution of communication. My mind instantly would wonder.
The trouble with making assumptions is that thoughts become our word. The power of our word creates the reality in whcih we live. We believe these assumptions are the truth.
This journey has led me to become more mindful of this flaw.
The moment an assumption creeps in, I try to squash it knowing the pain and suffering it’s going to cause. Not only from my point of view, but from a relationship standpoint.
My assuming what the other is doing or thinking, I’ve just created the reality of that relationship, all with my word.
This has been by far one of the biggest transformations for me. This very notion of not making assumptions has catapulted relationships that were toxic to something enjoyable.
Always do your best.
This is a phrase we often here, with good intentions. But I think we consume it the wrong way and it gets misconstrued.
Your best is always going to change. It’s going to look different from when you are healthy to when you are sick to when you are injured. Each and every moment your best is going to change.
In any circumstance you are in, always do your best.
This is something I am communicating with my son, as he just started gymnastics. No matter what, have fun, work hard, and do your best.
Doing your best leaves no room for regrets. Tweet this
Without this last and final agreement, of always doing your best, the others don’t exist. This puts the wheels in motion.
These four agreements are practical and simple in theory but difficult to live by day-in and day-out.
When you commit to these agreements and become intentional in living them out, it’s not a flip of a switch and they are part of your being.
Instead, it exercises the mindfulness muscle in bringing awareness to you throughout your day to carry them out.
I write these four agreements in my journal everyday serving as those simple reminders.