Calming the Frenzy

Last week had me in a frenzy.

It was a week no different than any other. In fact, I received some beautiful words and feedback from readers about the Unless You Care project.

The purpose and mission of this space is to nudge and poke to initiate some kind of ripple within you. To see, maybe even for an instance, through a new lens or to offer a new perspective.

That’s the goal and it was so encouraging and exciting to receive those emails from readers. For that, and for you, I am truly grateful.

During this same time frame, however, I felt as though I was being pulled in all sorts of directions.

The realization at the end of the week was that I couldn’t point a finger at anyone, or anything, other than myself.

I was lacking focus on the present moment

I found myself filled with head chatter and wondering thoughts. I felt a tug pulling me away from the present moment.

I began to notice I wasn’t entirely present when spending time with my son, I wasn’t attentive or showing appreciation towards my wife, and more so than ever, my patience was running on empty with our rambunctious yellow lab.

Whatever it was in front of me at that moment, my family, writing, work; my mind was trailing off. Instead of focusing on the moment in front of me, I was focusing on all of the things I wanted, or felt I needed, to do.

That instead, was counterproductive.

It led me to feeling frustrated with the lack of productivity I had hoped for or expected.

All of these things were signs that I began to notice as the week went on. My mood was changing from a sense of calm to a sense of urgency. I was rushing through these moments and thinking about what I needed to be doing next.

It’s the journey we travel

But, this is the process, right? The valleys where we find ourselves struggling. The road blocks and distractions; allowing resistance to stay far longer than her welcome.

It wasn’t until later in the week where I caved and had to do something about it.

Here are a few things that I did to try and alleviate my meandering mind to gain control of my focus towards the present moment:

I gave myself permission to let go

I established an environment for my mind to put on the brakes and slow down.

I gave myself permission to stop doing whatever it was that I was working on at that moment and to forget about all of the things I was hoping to get done.

I gave myself freedom to think; to reflect on what was causing this frustration and mood changes.

Most importantly, I gave myself permission to do these things without feeling guilty of not doing anything.

I read my, our, manifesto

I read the things that are important to me; the things that serve as a compass to this journey.

Whether it leads me on the same path or not, it’s a compass that guides me to continue moving forward on this journey of self growth.

This frenzy was that detour, a step back, the valley. I was losing my sense of direction and needed my compass.

I looked at my son

I got to a point during the week and realized that the past four days wasn’t time well spent with my son. It wasn’t focused, it wasn’t genuine, it wasn’t pure, it lacked connection and spontaneity.

I looked at him one day and all of a sudden he looked like he was a year older. This shook my core. Knowing that before my eyes he is growing older and that I’m not going to get this day back with him.

So, I shifted my focus to the present moment.

I gave myself permission to let go and grabbed my compass. Currently, I’m in the process of traveling out of this valley.

Part of committing to this journey of intentional self growth is forming habits and actions during the good times, so they can be utilized during the difficult or cloudy times.

Growth happens in the valleys of our travels only as a result of the intentional actions we instill when on the hilltops. Tweet this

It’s Here! The Unless You Care manifesto print is now available—designed for personal change. Order yours today!

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About Eric Ungs

Eric Ungs writes about a journey of intentional self growth, nudging you to let go; to give yourself permission to be vulnerable and honest with yourself so you can give your best self to others. Author of 10 Incredible Ways to Live a Fulfilling and Joyful Life ebook.


  1. Nicole Forsythe

    It’s always a challenge for me when I get in these spaces. I find yoga and mindful breathing is helpful, sometimes, but it’s not easy. I really liked this post, Eric, great questions. Thank you!

    1. Thanks Nicole. It’s a challenge indeed and the longer we go without recognizing it the deeper the rut we find ourselves in; the harder to escape. I’ve been meaning to, wanting to, try yoga for some time now. I just need to do it. You may have just nudged me 🙂 Thanks so much for reading and commenting Nicole!

      1. Nicole Forsythe

        I think you’ll find it really powerful. My personal studio of choice is, though developing a home practice really seems to have the longest lasting impact.

        1. wiedenu

          I’ll jump on this since it was brought up. While it’s been a few weeks since I’ve practiced, yoga is great for mental awareness. It’s incredible to me how often I find myself holding my breath while in a more difficult or straining pose. When I find myself doing that, once I release my breath, the pose is often easier. And if it’s not easier, I’m now managing the stress of the pose better because I’m breathing!

          1. This is exactly why I want to practice it, for the mental/self awareness portion. Ties into meditating as well. It’s all about breathing! Thanks for the insight!

        2. Really!? That’s great to know. I think I would start in studio to ensure mechanics are down to bring it home.

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