Calming Your Head Chatter

Does head chatter control your day? Does it gloss you over the present moment going through the motions of your daily to-do’s, tasks and projects? Does your head chatter strip you away from an intimate conversation blocking you of any kind of deeper connection?

It does for me. In fact, sometimes it can be so bad, so far off course, that the head chatter creates stress and anxiety within me.

In reality, all of this (head chatter) stems from an imaginative place. The head chatter is what we create, or imagine, around the source, to be true, that causes the pain.

We take ourselves down unnecessary rabbit hole after rabbit hole.

Unfortunately, the story you tell yourself through continuous head chatter creates the reality in which you experience. Tweet this

This was a major issue for me, it still is.

The only difference is the space between the stimulus and response has widened. This space gives me a sense of awareness into my head chatter to know that there’s a choice in how I can proceed.

I would look at my current situations, the ones that had me struggling and gasping for air, and play out scenarios over and over again on how it should have gone or how I wish it would have gone or how it will go.

This caused deeper pain. More stress. Heavier anxiety.

It’s the result of continuous, unwanted, head chatter. Therefore, I reacted by trying to control, or maintain, the stress and anxiety. I waved the white flag and chose to coast with the chatter.

Since committing to this journey I’ve learned to go deeper, to confront and own, not the head chatter, but the circumstances that’s causing such head chatter. The source that I was numbing myself from.

When you pay attention to the source of such rabbit hole journey’s, the stress then starts to release its grips on you. When you take action into fixing that source, you can feel the stress begin to step away.

Shift the lens to see there are choices.

Shift the mindset in how you approach the head chatter. It’s understanding that there are always choices.

Instead of choosing to coast with the chatter and operate on the back side of stress and anxiety, being reactive, choose to be proactive (listening and being aware of your head chatter) through intentional actions and operate on the front side of stress and anxiety.

Stress isn’t something we should learn to maintain or control, it’s merely an unequipped reaction to something deeper. Confront the deeper. Tweet this

Confront that deeper thing through writing.

“We do not write to be understood; we write in order to understand” — Cecil Day-Lewis

There’s something within the process of being in a deep mental state of flow and having such thoughts, feelings and reflections travel through your mind through your fingers through the pen and onto paper. It’s almost as if, until it’s written, we can’t understand.

Head chatter, when being unintentional about self growth, overtime, continues to add layers on top of who you are. It places your truth behind a mask.

In order to grow and heal, focus on the things that matter. Focus on the core, the deepest part of what’s causing the head chatter that’s ultimately adding stress to your day. Don’t focus on eliminating the stress.

Eliminating stress is a by product of confronting and owning the source of such head chatter. Tweet this

The more you practice mindfulness, confronting the source (and not the stress) the wider the gap becomes between stimulus and response. Meaning, you are exercising the mindfulness muscle to be proactive instead of reactive to stress.

This space creates self awareness.

What things do you do to combat head chatter and stress? Are you reactive or proactive? Leave a comment below.

Photo credit: Luis Hernandez

It’s Here! The Unless You Care manifesto print is now available—designed for personal change. Order yours today!

Like what you read? Please share it with your friends.

About Eric Ungs

Eric Ungs writes about a journey of intentional self growth, nudging you to let go; to give yourself permission to be vulnerable and honest with yourself so you can give your best self to others. Author of 10 Incredible Ways to Live a Fulfilling and Joyful Life ebook.


  1. Congratulations on your commitment to “intentional self-growth”!!! You are “right on” about the most important determining factor for “self-growth” — your thoughts! Love the look and feel of your website. Cheering you on for continued success and happiness. I’ve been on the “intentional self-growth” path for over 20 years and my life just keeps getting better and better since I stopped living so unconsciously unintentionally, and I’m gonna be 70 in less than 3 months!

    1. Eric Ungs

      Hey Tom… thanks so much for stopping by. Congratulations to you for your commitment in traveling the journey of intentional self growth. Kudos! And thanks so much for the kind words on the UYC site. Chat soon Tom!

Comments are closed.