I’m in a writing rut. Not a, “I stare at a blank screen not knowing what to write writer’s block kind of way”, but rather a, “I’m not even putting my butt in the chair to write kind of rut”.
Writing has been the backbone of my growth.
It’s the foundation to traveling journey of bettering myself each and ever day. It’s the exercise that strengthens the mindfulness muscle and creates space between stimulus and response.
But yet, I’m not writing.
The very thing that I deeply enjoy and the very thing that is the foundational component to growth I am choosing not to do.
Resistance continues to win
This is where I declare the victor to Resistance and wave the white flag. Resistance is winning.
She’s been showing her face every morning I say I am going to sit down and write. She show’s her face every night when I’ve dedicated the time to writing.
Each and every time she reminds be that tomorrow will be a better day. I’ll be more inspired then.
There’s always something to point at or something to blame. That’s her job. To rationalize. To point out the obstacles of actually sitting down and writing.
This seems to be the same trough I experience regularly with writing throughout the year. The trough where I spend all week mustering out one 800 word article or email.
Resistance makes it feel like it’s no longer part of who I am, but instead, a useless task on my to do list.
Each time I find the courage to push through Resistance, it’s in these instances that I taste the craving once again.
Surrendering to the writing process allows you to enter into this deep state of flow.
It’s as if you’re floating above just watching the stream of words regurgitate from the mind and travel through the arms to the finger tips.
They form what appears to be words and sentences on a screen.
The flow of writing disentangles the very thoughts that lacked clarity in the mind. Tweet this
It’s a beautiful and addictive feeling. Comprehension appears for the first time.
But maybe this is exactly what the Resistance gravitates towards. Maybe this feeling is the exact feeling she’s looking to block. To put the red flags up alerting me to not enter.
Flow requires intense focus.
It requires that I let go to the unknown. As thoughts spin in my mind its clarity doesn’t surface until words form on the page.
This is the fear.
The fear of the unknown. The fear of my thoughts having clarity and meaning. There’s a level of effort to enter that state of flow. There’s a level of pain, both the good and the bad, that comes with the territory of flow.
These are all breeding grounds for Resistance. Using these fears and the possibilities of the unknown against me.
The beautiful, or ironic thing is, the feelings of the unknown and fear are only at the entrance of this state of flow, or rather, during the writing itself.
Regardless of the pain or fear experienced during the writing process, upon completion a breathe of fresh air is had.
The feeling of freedom is felt. A level of lightness to the body and soul is the addictive high.
But yet, I don’t write.
I don’t write when I most need to. I don’t write when I most want to.
Choose to beat resistance
The realization here is that this feeling of being bullied by Resistance is only temporary. It’s a choice I make in how I respond to her bullying.
I’ve come to a point when not writing is more painful and gut wrenching than pushing through Resistance and surrendering to the unknown of writing.
So now, today, I choose to write. Everyday.
I’m taking baby steps once again. Learning how to walk.
500 words for five straight days. It’s a milestone. Then adding an additional five days of 500 words. It then no longer becomes an X on a calendar to show that I haven’t broken the chain, but rather, just part of my day; part of who I am.
Much like showering and brushing my teeth. It’s personal hygiene. It’s taking care of myself physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Choose to stand up to Resistance’s bullying.
Whatever it is you are pursuing, choose to push through her obstacles. Don’t buy her excuses.
Choose to take action. Make progress.
How do you push through Resistance? Share in the comments below.
Photo Credit: Luis Hernandez