Humor in Addition to Vulnerability

I enjoy humor and being silly. I love to laugh and especially love to make other’s laugh. Making other’s smile through humor is probably one of my favorite character traits about myself.

I enjoy taking an awkward moment, an uncomfortable setting, or a moment where there’s a void of silence and throw in some humor to ease the tension in the air.

Humor is this release that pulls people together. It loosens our grips. It lets our guard down to open up to our surroundings allowing connectivity to occur.

Keeping that shield on and laughter aren’t possible at the same time. The connection is weak. It’s either one or the other.

What gets interesting is this line…

Humor is great in addition to vulnerability, not in place of vulnerability.

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Looking back and reflecting on my own experiences, that statement is spot on. I now recognize it in myself.

As the person using humor to get others to laugh, at times, I am actually the one holding up that shield. I am the one using humor as the shield, preventing me from releasing my vulnerabilities.

As much as I am able to release the awkwardness in the air using humor, I also tend to steamroll over any vulnerabilities using humor.

It’s my scapegoat to intimacy.

It’s the hard exterior not wanting to penetrate into the truth. It’s the signal to the other person that I’m not comfortable engaging in, or with, my current vulnerabilities.

There are moments where vulnerability is about to be released, but I choose humor to avoid being vulnerable, to avoid being honest with myself and others.

Since committing to this journey, however, I have noticed an evolution in myself to be more vulnerable with those that I would have used humor on in the past, and most times those are the closest people to me.

It’s almost as if I have created this identity of laughter where I’m not taken seriously or that I can’t be the honest and vulnerable voice, or ear.

Making people laugh is still something I thoroughly enjoy doing.

Now, however, I want to become more mindful on the intentions of such humor.

Am I genuinely wanting to break the awkwardness of that moment by making others laugh to ease that tension allowing for greater connectivity or am I using humor because I don’t want to expose what actually needs to be released at that moment; my vulnerabilities? The truth in which that moment is seeking.

The continuous evolution starts with not using humor in place of vulnerability and then grows into using humor in addition to vulnerability.

This removes any sense of shame or humiliation for exposing vulnerabilities.

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About Eric Ungs

Eric Ungs writes about a journey of intentional self growth, nudging you to let go; to give yourself permission to be vulnerable and honest with yourself so you can give your best self to others. Author of 10 Incredible Ways to Live a Fulfilling and Joyful Life ebook.

2 Comments

  1. Sam Tunnicliffe

    I just don’t think there are any substantive conclusions drawn here. Why are your articles so vague? If you have anything of substance to bring to peoples real lives which will alter the way they live then (a) read the New Testament more closely, as that has genuine power to change you and (b) show how your musings actually work in practice.

    1. Hey Sam… I will have to agree with you, this post is vague, in the sense of being a step-by-step how to. Change and growth doesn’t necessarily follow an outline or work like that. What this post does is brings something to the surface that wasn’t there, that was buried. It makes me become more aware of myself. I am able to recognize my actions. I become mindful of my actions. Mindfulness doesn’t magically solve the problems, it’s meant to position you to handle them better by creating space between stimulus and response. My hope for the reader is to create a crack within themselves to see something, to become more aware or to offer some kind of perspective. To nudge them to be honest with themselves through my honesty and vulnerability.

      I do truly appreciate your comment and honesty. Thanks for stopping by.

      Eric.

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