Just Listen

Taking care of yourself first impacts those around you.

Not only how you present yourself to others evolves, but what and how you be becomes contagious. It influences the environment in which you live.

When you wake up each morning committed to doing the things that make you a better version of yourself than you were the day before, slowly it begins to be recognized; especially with those you are closest with.

Though, it’s not about being recognized, it’s about being your honest, authentic and best version of yourself; your truth.

During this journey of intentional self growth, I can feel and see the changes within myself. I feel lighter, more aware, a sense of calm.

I am, however, well aware that this same journey isn’t always rainbows and butterflies sitting atop the mountain.

There are dark clouds. There’s loud thunder. There’s the time spent below in the valley
struggling. There’s the times where my chest begins to take on weight once again; the pressure, the anxiety tries to show its face.

That’s part of the journey

It’s what those traveling this journey need to know and accept. It’s the perseverance of the commitment to this journey, to continue moving forward with purpose.

I still struggle like everyone else, everyday. The difference is, I now have a process for mitigation, I am more aware of responding versus reacting.

When those close to you come to vent, stressed about their day, ready to unload their frustration, the first thing the voice in your head will tell you is, “tell them to do the things you’re doing; if you feel better because of those things, why wouldn’t those same things work for them?”

“You need to start doing this.”

“You should write in your journal.”

“You should meditate for twenty minutes everyday.”

“You should start reflecting on your day, write down what you’re grateful for and how you’re feeling.”

I find myself in this gray area of how to respond.

Early on in this journey I would have rushed, without thinking, to say that they should be doing this and that; do what I do.

In that moment, the person who came to you isn’t seeking any kind of silver bullet, quick fix, response. They’re not seeking a system or process in how to better themselves.

Instead, just listen

Don’t offer advice. This is what the voice in your head wants you to do (remember, he’s an asshole).

Most likely, that person is already listening to that advice of yours without you needing to voice it. They are listening to your actions. They are listening to you by you just being.

Actions always speak louder than words. Don’t preach, just be. Tweet this

It’s such an amazing feeling when you just offer an ear and then weeks go by and you start to notice the same change in you is surfacing in them.

Not only is this a sign that the commitment you made to traveling a journey of intentional self growth is starting to become present to others, but, that they are learning, doing and being because of you.

By listening, and not preaching, that person will be more accepting to listen to your actions. Tweet this

This is the purpose of taking care of yourself first.

So that you can give your best self to others, to make a difference in something much larger than just you; them, those who you care about most, your surroundings, your environment.

When they seek your advice, give it wholeheartedly, when they don’t, just listen.

Photo Credit: ileohidalgo

It's Here! The Unless You Care manifesto print is now available—designed for personal change. Order yours today!

Like what you read? Please share it with your friends.

About Eric Ungs

Eric Ungs writes about a journey of intentional self growth, nudging you to let go; to give yourself permission to be vulnerable and honest with yourself so you can give your best self to others. Author of 10 Incredible Ways to Live a Fulfilling and Joyful Life ebook.

1 Comment

  1. This is spot on, Eric! I love that: “Don’t preach, just be.”

    Thank you for this post, my friend.

    Wishing you peace and light today 🙂

    Allison

Comments are closed.