The seasons that come and go shaping our lives—from year-to-year, month-to-month—always seem to amaze me.
In reflecting on where I was two years ago I’m beyond grateful for how far I’ve traveled and how much I’ve grown. Leading a life of intentional self growth has made me more in tune with my mind, my thoughts, my thinking patterns and my emotions.
However, as I’ve strengthened my mindfulness muscle and have become more aware of my inner world, that doesn’t mean dark spells don’t ever cast a shadow over me.
As I’ve experienced a steady climb (with bumps along the way of course) these past couple of years in leading a life I love, I’m currently finding myself under a dark spell. By no means the darkest my previous self has been in, but dark enough where it’s making my mind wander. Quite frankly, it’s exhausting!
I’m causing myself unnecessary pain and struggle.
Even though I’m aware of the voice in my head that’s taken hold of my thoughts, I’m still finding myself succumbing to those inner ramblings.
I’m paranoid of the chatter and whispers around me, they must be talking about me and how unfit I am to work on that. I’m losing confidence in my abilities. These fears and doubts are creating endless amounts of drama within my own head. I feel the pressure those voices are straining on my mind. I’m tired, exhausted and feeling like I don’t belong.
Story is powerful. Story connects.
This story, however, that I’ve been telling myself is causing endless amounts of unnecessary pain. I’m lying on the ground, struggling, trying to find the courage and strength to get back up. To let go. To allow my ego’s voice to pass through.
The courage and strength builds off action. The action of getting back up. The action where healing and growth occurs. The intentional action of ensuring I’m not feeding my ego wanting to knock me back down.
This is quite amazing, really. The story that I am allowing to play out in my mind is affecting who I am as a person. It’s impacting the way I parent, the way I work, the way I make decisions, the way I communicate.
This fictitious story that I’m narrating in my head is controlling my every move adding layers upon layers suffocating my true self.
The mindfulness muscle that I’ve been exercising these past three years has allowed me to develop a level of awareness into how I’m feeling. It’s time. It’s time to own my inner world. To stand up for who I am and protect my true self.
It takes intentional action to get back up.
It’s up to me, and only me, to peel back those layers of fear and ego to let my truth be exposed once again. To allow my true self to see the daylight and breathe in the fresh air.
No longer will I take things personally. No longer will I allow what others might think of me impact my behavior and wholehearted output. No longer will I continue feeding my ego.
The truth of the matter is, I’ve fallen down, and it’s most likely going to happen again. That’s the nature of life, seasons come and seasons go. They may sometimes feel similar, but no two seasons are the same.
This is the importance of leading a life of intentional self growth. To take care of yourself first during the good times so you can quickly recognize and rebound during the dark times.
What matters most is the rebound, the dusting yourself off and getting back up.
Life’s too short and too precious to be trapped living inside the confides of a fictitious story that’s playing out in your own head. Tweet this
Self growth requires releasing yourself of such facade and living an intentional and authentic life.