Three Words

With the new year upon us we look to the coming months in what we want to accomplish. We dissect the areas in our life in which we want to see growth in. We envision our future self in who and where we want to be, how we want to look, and the things we want to have.

So we set ourselves personal goals for the year. We call them resolutions, the new year being a point in time for us to establish new habits.

I was recently asked if I believed in setting personal goals. I said no.

The problem is that we often set unobtainable goals for ourselves. Every first of the year, we start with a clean slate while at the same time setting ourselves up to fail by the goals we give ourselves.

Go to to the gym everyday, lose 50 pounds, write 500 words everyday. It’s these very definitive goals that make goal obtainment out of reach. We focus so much on the goal at hand we forget about the outcome we are essentially seeking.

I look to goal setting not as individual achievements to shoot for at the end of the year, but setting overarching themes that guide my year.

I choose to just live by how I want to feel.

These past two years I didn’t set any personal goals, instead I establish themes by choosing three words for how I want to feel.

The actions I do throughout the year shouldn’t be towards achieving a specific set of personal goals, but instead, it’s about living and doing the things that make me feel how I want to feel.

These words serve as my guiding light.

They don’t pigeon hole me into daily actions I must do in order to achieve said goal. They don’t tie me down to obtaining something that over the course of the days, weeks and months of the year may not mesh with the authentic self I’ve evolved in to.

People change, we change, frequently.

Abiding by specific yearly goals hinders spontaneity of self. It hinders the very aspect of self evolution and growth because we are so focused on that specific task or goal we become numb to the things that don’t fall on the path of that goal that could enrich our lives.

There is a place for goal setting, but when it comes to personal change and growth, new years resolutions aren’t the means to that end.

The following three words are the overarching themes that will be my north star for 2015. These are the words that will help me feel the way I want to feel.

Integration.

My focus for 2015 will be on total self integration.

Wholeheartedly giving, presenting, sharing and being my true self to all of my external surroundings regardless of the environment I am in or the circle of people in which I find myself in.

I currently look at myself as silos with all having various versions of who I am. 2015 I look to knock down those walls and integrate my true self throughout all areas of my life.

Build.

Last year for the UYC project I was focusing on the wrong things. I started the year off stemming from pure purpose.

As I dove deeper into the project my focus veered from purpose to getting caught up in the numbers, the wrong numbers. The purpose became harder to decipher and see.

The core purpose of this space is to build a safe environment for you to simply let go, to be honest and vulnerable with yourself to give your best self to others.

In 2015, I look to build this community to further that message. I look to do nothing more or nothing less. I believe, wholeheartedly, in taking care of yourself first to give your best self to others. I want to share that message far and wide.

It’s not necessarily going to be about the strength in numbers, but more about having the message resonate and the strength of impact it has on people. I want for it to make a difference in your life and other’s lives.

Building also comes in the form of building a financial foundation. I look to chip away large chunks of personal debt while establishing a safety net for my family.

Health.

I look at my two year old son who’s always running, battling with his guys (super heros), wrestling, dancing; always in constant motion.

I don’t ever want to be on the sidelines of that, I don’t ever want to tell him no, I can’t, because physically I’m not able to do so.

My inability to participate is a choice I make, or lack of, because of the poor dieting decisions I make and the lack of exercise.

2015 will be focused on health.

Not so much about hitting the gym everyday or losing “x” amount of pounds; but simply movement and good nutrition. Movement that builds endurance. Movement and eating habits that becomes part of a healthy lifestyle, one that is everlasting and becomes part of who I am.

When I’m 60 years old I don’t want to be on the sidelines watching, I will be in the middle with my children and their children participating.

Commit.

I know, this is the fourth on the list, but it’s one that was on last year’s list. It was such an instrumental part of my year in 2014 I want to include it once again.

Previously, and still today as I continue to work on it, I give up on major commitments too early. I become impatient with the expectations I have given myself or the vision in which I have for myself for something where when it doesn’t happen soon enough I abandon it and look for something new.

Abandoning it might not necessarily be through physically leaving the environment, but rather, not committing to the actions of that environment; choosing to just go through the motions.

Committing to the process, giving myself to it wholeheartedly is essential. It’s essential for it to take fruition. It’s essential for it to be given the time it deserves and time it needs to take shape.

As commit was on the list in 2014, it provided incredible direction and mindset for a number of things last year, where in a previous life, I would have abandoned.

So really, I have four words for 2015.

These aren’t personal goals, there isn’t a specific destination or number I am looking to achieve. They’re in place and specifically chosen for the purpose of how I want to feel.

These four words are set in place to serve as a guiding light in the actions I do and knowing that each and every day I am going to do my best to serve them.

Therefore, at the end of 2015 I can look back and reflect, not on the obtainment of a specific goal, but rather, in knowing that I gave my absolute best in living and doing the things that made me feel good.

I use these words and give all that I am to them. I let them serve as a compass, not the map. Tweet this

What are your three words for 2015? Share in the comments below.

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About Eric Ungs

Eric Ungs writes about a journey of intentional self growth, nudging you to let go; to give yourself permission to be vulnerable and honest with yourself so you can give your best self to others. Author of 10 Incredible Ways to Live a Fulfilling and Joyful Life ebook.

1 Comment

  1. WOW,these are practical things and close to human nature .being a psychology student,I must say,what you have aimed at , is achievable . To identify oneself and to find real meaning of life is what life actually is for …..hmm my 3 words are purpose , selflessness and spirituality☺

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